Validation is not the same as Meaning. Many assume validation equals a happy life, but in the chaos of modern life, we often forget our deepest desires.
VALIDATION is that good feeling you get when you’ve achieved something, solved a problem, responded intuitively to someone or something, or when someone praises or thanks you, or ‘just gets’ you.
Validation is when you feel seen, heard, appreciated or understood. It can come from others or from yourself (self-validation).
I don’t need someone to validate my existence. I know I exist.
~ Maya Angelou
However Validation is not the same as Meaning.
In the chaos of modern life, we often confuse the two. In our social media-driven world, the constant stream of likes, comments, and superficial recognition can create an addictive cycle of seeking validation that masks our deeper need for meaning.
The feeling that your life is MEANINGFUL comes from a bigger picture overview, where you know that the things you do are aligned with your life purpose (soul purpose), authenticity and the legacy you wish to leave.
Meaning comes from giving back to others and to the world in ways that are deeply in tune with your core value, purpose and learning journey as a human being.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.
~ Viktor Frankl
Maybe you have a job where you feel validated.
Perhaps you’re good at what you do, you solve problems, get difficult clients to sign on the dotted line, make lots of sales, negotiate or communicate well, or finish challenging work projects. Perhaps you mostly feel good about your job – maybe it feels more or less aligned with your talents or training, is reasonably well paid so allows you to easily pay your bills and live a good life outside of work (if you have time to do so), and maybe you hold a fairly senior position.
But it’s important to ask whether your work and life brings value, purpose and meaning for you and for others. Feeling validation on a daily or frequent basis doesn’t necessarily translate into a meaningful existence, contribution or legacy. The constant pursuit of external success can sometimes lead us further away from our true calling.
On the other hand, maybe you’re in a job which is just a means to an end.
Perhaps you don’t really enjoy it, but you show up because it helps to pay the bills. Maybe the work you’re being asked to do is unstimulating, uninspiring or not in tune with the real you. Perhaps you’re not sure what the real you is, but you know that you’re not being deeply engaged through your current work and life at the moment.
The monotony of such existence can feel like what Henry David Thoreau described when he said, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
We tend to get caught up in the minutiae of everyday life and work, and often consider ourselves to be reasonably ‘happy’ in life if we receive some validation, whether that is through our career, family, friends, partner or other means such as vicarious distractions, food, drink or drugs.
These temporary pleasures and moments of recognition can create an illusion of fulfillment that prevents us from seeking deeper meaning.
The challenge is to have an ongoing, open and honest dialogue with yourself exploring what you truly need, want and feel you should be doing in your life, so as to align with your true self, your higher self, or your soul purpose.
Methods like journalling (maybe using journal prompts to keep you focused) and meditation (perhaps try guided/spoken meditation to start) can help guide you with this step.
What you seek is seeking you.
~ Rumi
Then a bigger but important step: action.
You’ll need to start making relevant changes to your life, sometimes ones where you’ll have to step outside of your comfort zone. A good strategy here is to take small steps, be mindful and kind to yourself, and celebrate your successes (again, journalling can help).
The changes should feel aligned, ‘right for you’ and in tune with your deepest desires, so this will need a continued, honest dialogue with yourself to keep on track. It’s good to remember that these changes are so you gain a deeper sense of fulfillment, contribution and meaning, and leave a legacy you are proud of.
The good news is that the more you respond to what you truly need and align your actions with that, the easier and more free-flowing it should become.
This journey of alignment often reveals what philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche meant when he said, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”
Where are you in this journey?
searching for a more meaningful and happy life?
Struggling with identifying your true purpose? Feeling bored, unhappy and unfulfilled with your life? Know there’s more to life but not sure how to make yours more meaningful?
You’re invited to take my course: ‘Unlock your True Purpose and Ignite Your Dreams’.
In the course, you’ll discover your soul’s purpose, reveal and learn strategies to deal with your limiting beliefs, and put a plan in place to become the best version of you, so you can live your best life.
When you click on a button, you’ll be taken to my Pensight page, which is an all-in-one platform to process bookings and payments (if relevant), set calendar appointments, and communicate with my Clients about their Life Purpose Coaching sessions, Courses and Business Services.